Shakita Jarrett
Blog 3
The debate of cross sex friendships between heterosexual women and men is ongoing
and there is no definite answer besides its possible. Even though there is no
certain answer, non-romantic friendships between females and males are common
and people enjoy those friendships for the different insights of the opposite
sex and ego support which is
observable in any friendship. According to “Men and
Women Can't Be "Just Friends" article, women and men are
capable of hanging out together and enjoying casual activities without sleeping
together. However, the opportunity of that relationship turning sexual is
always lingering, known as emotional bond
challenge and the sexual challenge. Emotional bond
challenge is inevitable in female and male interactions because as heterosexuals
we are trained to view the other as potential mates, in particularly, males
will see their female friend as attractive and may initiate sex with that
female friend. Whereas, females often do not view their male friend as a
potential partner and are not attracted to him causing a feeling of rejection
within the male. In the article “Men and Women
Can't Be "Just Friends", the author discussed a lab study of 88 pairs of college opposite sex
friends, the pairs were separated and asked questions about their feelings or
lack of for toward their friend. The results exhibited the gender differences
of women and men in opposite-sex friendships that men “consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by
their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of
attraction felt by their male friends.”(Ward, 2012). Due to that level of
attraction to the female, males are not good with platonic friendships compared
to their female counterpart. Sexual challenge is exhibited in these
relationships particularly among men because sex is likely to cross their minds
during the friendship. Another test to cross-sex friendships is the public presentation challenge, which means if
people see the friends in public a lot, questions will be asked if that is
really a friendship or are they dating. This question I feel is inevitable with
all heterosexual friendships because of the common belief that males and
females are incapable of being “just friends”. This challenge can also hinder a
friendship because the friends may wonder how is their presentation to others
for others to perceive them in such a way causing them to go out in public less
due to the perception. Another article by Psychology Today titled “Can Men and Women Be "Just Friends"? The author identified three tips of
having a platonic relationship between males and females hopefully alleviating
any problems: (a) understand the different friendship needs by communicating each
other’s needs in the friendship; (b) communicate your intentions by being
honest with each other about your goals so there is not misinterpretations and
the males does not have the assumption that sex is involved in the friendship
and (c) only stay with fair trades meaning both individuals in the friendship need
to have a shared desire because this will lead to a frustration free friendship.
(Nicholson, 2013)
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