Detecting Decpetion in a Relationship

                I have chosen to write this blog post on the article, “Can People Tell When a Husband or Wife, Boyfriend of Girlfriend, is Lying?” (http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/lying-and-deception/detecting-deception/catching-lovers-lying.html). This article ties in well with our recent topics in class about detecting deception and about lies in a relationship. The article discusses how it should be relatively more easy for people to tell when someone they are close to is lying as compared to a complete stranger, but unfortunately it is not. Love is blind. Love makes it difficult to see a partner’s negative behavior and flaws. When people are in love they tend to put a lot of trust in their significant other. This trust creates a sense of security and comfort, but it also creates an opportunity for deception to occur. They also discuss the term “truth bias” which basically states that as people become more intimate and emotionally involved with one another’s lives, they also become less accurate at being able to detect their partner’s deception.

                In class we discussed the many ways of detecting deception. These would include that the findings are inconsistent or the nonverbal cues such as eye contact and foot tapping. We also discussed the term “leakage” and the four-factor model of deception. These four reasons for leakage are attempted control, felt emotion, physiological arousal, and cognitive processing. These are a few factors on how to be able to detect deception anywhere, not even with just your significant other. Now when it comes to relationships I believe just like the article says, it is harder to detect lies in relationships. I do however agree that we have a better baseline with the person we are closer too and we tend to notice patterns, but even then I think it is that truth bias that determines everything. We just do not expect our significant other to lie to us and for the reason we become blind to the truth. We never really tend to pick up on these lies until it comes to us through a third party, which is what happens in most cases.

                I not only chose this article because it ties in well with what we were discussing in class, but because I have had a personal account with this. Not to be on my high horse or anything, but I am generally pretty good at detecting lying I would say. And this girl was the first girl I actually loved. All of the signs were right in front of me that something was not right and there was definitely deception going on. But I had completely trusted her and had ignored the issue. I definitely displayed truth bias without a doubt. It never really occurred to me until multiple people started coming to me about things they have heard or saw happen. Getting the information through those third parties really got me thinking about things and I finally had had enough. I later found out that she had been cheating on me with another guy, which towards the end with everything I had heard and suspected I was surprised about. That just goes to show you that love does make you blind. After reading this article and learning about this information in class however, I feel that people should be more aware and cautious with these kinds of issues.