Friday, February 13, 2015

Online Dating: Pros vs Cons

                Online dating is a dating experience that allows individuals to contact and communicate with one another over the Internet. Over time online dating has been used more and more and is becoming a “normal” thing to do. Many people use online dating to find a variety of relationships: serious relationships, hooking up, or even just meeting someone they can connect to. In a 2011 study by Match.com approximately 40 million people use online dating services. That number is increasing as time goes on as well.  Another interesting statistic I found is that as of 2013, approximately 1/3 of marriages happen due to meeting online rather than face-to-face. That is beyond incredible to me. In an article on psychologytoday.com it shares the pros and cons of online dating and how there can be some excellent experiences as well as some endings that do not go as well.
                In this article by Jeremy Nicholson he describes the works of “Finkel and associates” in 2012.  Nicholson is referring to Eli J. Finkel, a Ph.D. Professor of Social Psychology.  Finkel’s goal was to evaluate whether online dating was fundamentally different from face-to-face and to see if it was superior to face-to-face. After their study they concluded that online dating was definitely different from the traditional dating style, but it also proposed problems. The three main areas in which online dating differed from the traditional style of dating was access, matching, and communication. For each of these three main areas, Finkel found pros and cons. First, with access, online dating provided people with many varieties of other people. However, with so many choices of people, someone can be easily confused and become overwhelmed and can just continue looking for “Mr. or Mrs. Right” instead of finding a good and stable relationship. Next, with matching, online dating offers many different tests on compatibility which enables people to find a better dating partner.  On the flip side though, matching becomes a difficult process and may not always be accurate for everyone. People may present themselves as something that they’re truly not which makes people attract to them which could cause them to miss their perfect match. Lastly, communication through online dating is obviously a pro because it allows you to get to know someone before you make any kind of commitment. It is also a con though because communicating through computers lacks the kind of face-to-face communication that is needed which makes it harder to match up with somebody online.
                I chose this article because some of my friends and I have recently used online dating apps such as Coffee Meets Bagel for example. In using this app I have noticed that there are pros and cons such as Finkel had described. While using it, it has provided me with many of options of potential partners that I would have never have been able to link up with without using the app. However, there are so many people on the app that I am unsure of who to talk to and who not to talk to. On the app, you are allowed to fill out a bio and put different things that you like, but I have run into the problem with many people lying in their bio which is a con of matching as described by Finkel. My last problem I run into is not having that kind of face-to-face communication with someone which makes me stray away from online dating more and more.
Just recently I have stopped using all kinds of online dating services/apps such as Coffee Meets Bagel and Tinder. I personally feel that online dating is on the rise and that it is not for everyone.  But, it seems to be unavoidable if you are single. In just writing this blog I have had the TV on counting the number of online dating commercials I have seen. In the hour that I have taken to write this, there have been eleven online dating commercials (including re-runs). That is absolutely absurd to me and is why I feel as if online dating is unavoidable.  As I said, it may not be for everyone, but if the pros outweigh the cons then online dating might be the way for you to go.


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